Instead of putting the entire burden on creators to receive feedback well, it’s good for those giving feedback to also learn how to do that well.
This post is specifically about working relationships (contractors / employees), though it still may be applicable if giving feedback as a friend.
Before providing any feedback, give yourself some time to digest the work. Sometimes immediacy is good (first impressions), but the creator probably spent a lot more time on this than you have. You might discover the answers to your questions by spending more time with it.
If you have critique, think about if it’s because you feel pressure to provide it. Not having any critique is valid. Otherwise, you’ll start to find problems where there are none. This can frustrate both parties. The critic doesn’t feel heard. The creator feels attacked.
Your first inclination might be to state what problems you’re seeing or feeling. Ask questions instead, because it allows the the creator to retain control of their own work and gives them a chance to respond without feeling like they need to be defensive. (Instead of saying, “This color is too strong,” you could start by asking, “Why did you choose this color?” This allows the creator to express their decision-making and gives you greater understanding before you provide critique.)
Don’t prescribe solutions without being asked. Especially if you’re working with this person, remember that you hired them for a reason. Give their perspective priority. After hearing why they did what they did, provide your thoughts, and allow them to devise the way forward.
Critique is just one part of feedback. Remember to give praise too. Saying what you like and why you like it isn’t just to satisfy a creator’s ego. It can give them a sense for what you value and how to make things you’ll respond to well in the future.
If this work is to replace something that already exists, consider if you’re providing feedback in service of the new work or if it’s in service of trying to get it closer to the old version. The latter might not be a valuable observation.
The appropriate method to give feedback will vary based on the dynamic (for example: director vs. peer). Sometimes peers can provide feedback through working together. If you’re unsure what kind of feedback to give or how to give it, ask the creator what would be helpful.
Be careful not to instruct (unless you’re a mentor or teacher). The creator may not be looking for this kind of feedback, and it can come off as condescending. If you hired the creator, they’re probably better than you are at the task and don’t need your instruction.
Take responsibility for unclear direction or bad direction. If something’s not meeting your expectation, it might be the result of a lack of direction. Similarly, prior feedback you gave might have influenced change in the wrong direction. Take responsibility for your part.
Don’t expect all your feedback to be incorporated. While there are sometimes hard requirements, subjective feedback should be left up to the creator to accept and incorporate. A valid response to your feedback may be for the creator to acknowledge it and ignore it.
The burden of feedback isn’t only on creators to accept it. This is a shared responsibility, and it’s up to the person giving feedback to be kind, considerate, and thoughtful.
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